(HBOT 143) - Lots of Auditory Processing Needed

Today I feel like venting. I am normally very positive and optimistic, but today got to me. Just like that day I went to Children's Hospital.

As part of his first grade homework, Jonathan has to read (on his own) every day for 15 minutes and record it in a log. We are reading the Magic Tree House book number 1. I know that it is an advanced book, but he can read it quite well. So I decided to read that book instead of other easier ones because this book has very few pictures in it. I want Jonathan to work hard at imagining what he is reading. Once of the comments I received from both evaluations is that Jonathan is very visual (biggest strength) but has auditory processing issues. So if he cannot see the picture, he has to work harder to comprehend what he is reading.

Last night, Jonathan and I read again but he was so tired that he did not want to read. So last night, I read one chapter to him. Stopping after every paragraph to ask him what is going on. He did not get a word. He did not comprehend anything I said. And it stroke me that he could comprehend fairly well if he read it by himself, even without the pictures, but not when I read the book.

Today I had my follow-up meeting with the auditory processing therapist and she told me that Jonathan's biggest issues is his auditory processing. This affects comprehension, language, attention, etc. She suggested an intense home program for 8 weeks, 4 weeks off and 8 more weeks and return for a re-evaluation next year and another boost. She explained that the reason why Jonathan can comprehend more when he reads than when I read is because there is an extra step that his brain has to deal with when the sound comes from someone other than himself. And he is having serious trouble decoding other people's voices and putting them in organized input in his brain.

I was so thankful that I know better what I need to target, yet furious with myself for not having enough time to dedicate it to research and to working with him when he is back from school. My job is more demanding every day. I can't breathe I am so busy. I hardly even eat lunch. And it bothers me to be in this situation. He needs me so much right now. And with this market the way it is, I cannot imagine being able to find another job. I simply felt very sad and impotent today and I hate feeling this way.

The other thing that bothers me is all the false positives that people like to give. I have been hearing this "he is going to be okay. he is one of those kids that will recover. he is going to make it. I don't say this about all the kids that I see, but Jonathan is definitely within the kids that will come out of this. etc". Over and over I hear these comments from doctors and therapists, and yet he is not out of it. As a matter of fact, his DAN! Dr. who told me when he first saw him that he didn't have autism, later told me to come to terms with the fact that he would always be on the spectrum. And the Children's Dr. who told me that she could change the diagnosis but didn't want to so I could get the services, told me that I would not need to come back ever for a re-eval because he is where he is. So I need to fix the problem. If I have gotten this far, I need to finish it. But I am not sure how to get out of my current situation. I guess time will tell.

He was very absentminded today and hummed a great deal. He also rocked his legs a lot.