Social Problems Continue at School

Last week was a very frustrating week for me. I know that our lives with autism and dealing with school are going to be hard, but I am starting to feel what it is going to be like and I really don't like it. I am not sure what to do, how to react.

Jonathan is having a hard time socializing with the kids in his 1st grade section. I don't know if it would be better in a different section. I don't know if this teacher is better or worse than other 1st grade teachers. I don't have time to volunteer in his class to observe the dynamics. But I do know that Jonathan had mastered social skills in Kindergarten with the teacher he had (she was (is) awesome) and here they are going to add a new goal in his IEP this coming Thursday to handle social skills because he is not doing well.

Last Thursday, while he was in class, sitting at his desk doing his morning work, he felt someone push him very hard and since he wasn't expecting it, he couldn't control his movements. The top of his head hit the edge of his desk. He was taken to the school clinic and the nurse didn't see anything major. When he returned to class, he thew up a lot so they took him back to the clinic and called me. The nurse asked me if I could be there in 10 minutes because throwing up right after a head injury means concussion in their book. I told her that I was 20 minutes away, and she told me that they had to call 911. I told her to go ahead and ran out to the door. When I arrived, I spoke with the paramedics and the guy said that he believed he could have had a concussion and urged me to take him to his pediatrician. He asked Jonathan to again explained what happened and he showed us. He was very detailed. But he didn't know the names of the kids that were standing behind him. He still doesn't know everyone's names. The assistant principal was there and told me that she was going to investigate.

I took Jonathan to see his pediatrician and he told me that indeed he had had a concussion but it was mild and didn't need to have x-rays done unless he threw up again. He told me to keep him awake until the evening and to call him if anything changed. But I noticed that the had forgotten somethings like he forgot that he hadn't had breakfast that morning. I didn't make much of it, but it seemed strange because he has a very good memory.

The next day, I called the school and spoke to the assistant principal. I asked her if she had investigated the event, and she said that she had, and after asking the kids that Jonathan thought he had saw behind him and they all said that they didn't push Jonathan, the assistant principle asked Jonathan if he had done that to himself and he apparently said yes. That comment infuriated me, but I chose not to fight with her. Jonathan has NEVER self-injured and that was just something he would have not made up. But if you sound convincing, he might give into what you said and I feel (even if it was not the case) that he was manipulated to admitting that he did it to himself. The next day, his memory was not perfect and when I checked with the doctor he said it was normal. But he did not lie (he doesn't really know how to lie that well).

A couple of months ago, he was in a situation with another boy who hit him intentionally in the lip breaking his lip and sending him to the clinic because the kid didn't like that Jonathan didn't want to do what he asked him to do. When I told Jonathan that it was probably and accident, he told me that it wasn't. The same situation happened here. He told me with details what happened, but his memory was blurry the next day and the school put it back on him because he cannot express himself perfectly. I feel betrayed by the school and the system. If this is happening now, when he is only 6, what should I expect when he is in middle and high school?

We have an IEP meeting this coming Thursday to discuss the new goal and I will challenge them about what happened. If I know of any new abuses, I will request that he is moved to another section.